Moonbats

Moonbat – Originally opined “Barking Moonbat”, referring to the odd habit of wolves to instinctively howl at the full moon. Refers to sudden, knee-jerk rantings, usually caused by certain political or philosophical ideas. Normally associated with Bush-Haters.

This sniglet wasn’t mine, but I thought it was so good that I had to define it on the blog. Thinking about howling wolves and wildly ranting Bush-Haters made me laugh the first 20 times. I had to share.

For a better definition on this cool word, google “moonbat”. You’ll find the wikipedia site giving a full explanation. As a bonus, if you hyperlink to “wingnut”, you’ll hit a page where you can link to “goldbugs”. Don’t bother reading these pages unless you’re particularly interested in the topics. The important link is “randians” from the goldbug page.

Here you will find a link to a fabulous woman. A woman who changed my life. A woman I love.

Wednesday July 12, 2006 - 06:22pm (MDT)

The Mahdi

“And, when the great Reformer appears do not think that a miracle will take place and the entire world will be put aright in a day! Rather, it is by hard work and sacrifices that the oppressors will be done away with. And if you think, as some misguided laymen do, that for the Mahdi to appear, the world must be entirely overwhelmed with cruelty and injustice therefore, to have him appear sooner, cruelty should be promoted, then let us all chime our own death knells”.

What is this? This sounds like the ravings of a lunatic. Actually, it kind of is. This is the Ayatollah Khomeini.

The religious fanatic who launched a jihad from the Muslim world against the West, is warning about taking things too far. He is referring to a sect within his Shia congregation that believes human suffering will expedite paradise on earth.

Ahmadinejad is a member of this sect. The Iranian mullahs are members of this sect. This sect was criminalized by Ayatollah Khomeini, because even he thought they were total wackos. They now rule Iran.

The mullahs want nukes. They are playing a game of “negotiations”, (game plan provided by North Korea, during Clinton’s administration), that will delay action until Iran launches its first successful nuclear test.

These guys believe in the Mahdi, the 12th Imam. This is the child who Allah hid away, so that he could come back in a time of trouble for Islam, and spread “Islamic Justice” upon the world.
Islamic Justice, by the way, means death to all of those who do not convert to Islam.

The Iranian mullahs want to cause as much suffering as possible. They truly believe that their savior will come to them when the misery is unbearable. They seek this.

These guys probably shouldn’t be trusted with nukes.

Sunday July 9, 2006 - 11:46am (MDT)

The Cold War

The Soviet Union launched the Cold War because Communism is unsustainable in world with Capitalism in it.

Capitalism functions just fine in a world that has Communists in it. Same thing with Socialists, Islamists or even Democrats. It is preferable for a capitalist society to have more trading partners, but the method of government for those partners does not affect the life in the capitalist society.

This is not the case in tyrannically ruled societies. The reason Iran hates the United States and Israel so badly, is because the thing that tyrants fear most, rebellion by the people, is inspired by seeing others living a better life. If the whole world were a dictatorship, there would be no options, no hope and no rebellion.

The Soviets meant to change the Western way of life. The Islamists mean to do so too. This isn’t a war about oil. It’s a war about ideology. It is indeed a war.

The Soviets meant to kill Westerners. The Cuban missile crisis was not a joke. It was not a stunt. The Soviets sold nuclear missiles to Castro and were sending them to Cuba for deployment. The United States could not allow this to happen. A major naval confrontation ensued. The armies of Central Europe were ready…on both sides. This looked like the beginning of World War III. A General for the Russian army said that his group of 50 thousand tanks had a plan of attack. It did not have orders to attack, but it did have a plan. The Soviets were ready and so was NATO. The point, for those of us spoiled enough to be 40 something or younger, is that this really was the brink of war.

We have lived our entire lives without tasting war. Vietnam was conveniently swept under the rug. Nobody wanted to talk about it. The Gulf War was like a video game. Of course we won, we are the Good Guys. No one takes that thought back to what happened in Vietnam though. The good guys don’t always win. The US pulled out because the casualties were unsustainable politically. Several thousand US soldiers were killed. After the pullout, literally millions of South Vietnamese and Cambodians were slaughtered.

The North Vietnamese were a proxy army for the Soviet Union. The Soviet and NATO forces could never face off directly or that would have indeed led to WWIII. Both sides used proxy armies to fight, but the Soviets picked the most fights. Vietnam, Korea and Cuba were a few of them.

The US won the showdown with the Soviets in Cuba. Castro does not have nuclear missiles. However, that stand-off didn’t end the Cold War, or the reasons that caused it. The Cold War has been won, but the reasons remain.

Iran will continue fighting the United States and Israel using its proxy armies. Hezbollah, Islamic Jihad, Hamas and now al-Qaeda are allies of Iran. Iran funds and supports these terrorist organizations in every way, enabling them to attack the enemies of the Iranian mullahs.

Take out Iran and end this stage of the War on Global Terrorism.

Tuesday June 27, 2006 - 10:12am (MDT)

Showtime!

"Hey, they made their run, and guess what guys? That won't be the last one. You'll see another one. And here's another thing; They'll see two more runs from us. So this is going to be a long game". - Pat Riley, 2006 NBA Championship - Game 6. Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks

This was the turning point in the game that the Miami Heat would go on to win and consequently, clinch the 2006 NBA Championship. Riley is a genius motivator. He makes hundreds of thousands every year making speeches. And this isn't even his full time job.

I witnessed many of these moments in the 1980's, as an avid Laker fan. I learned of many more by reading his book, written after the back-to-back titles in 87-88. I like Riley.

When his team had to win a Game 6 on the road in Boston Garden to clinch a title, (only something that no other team had ever done before..And Boston owned 15 Titles at the time), he shored up the Laker weakness.

The Lakers were destroyed in Game 1 of this series, in a game called The Boston Massacre. The Celtics beat the Lakers by about 40 points. It was over in the second quarter.

The Lakers were getting killed on the boards. In the locker room before Game 2, Riley wrote on the board "No Rebounds, No Rings". The Lakers out-rebounded the Celtics and won a squeaker. Now, they were coming home tied 1-1. It didn't matter what the total score of both games were. They wanted a split in Boston and they got one.

The Lakers won 2 out of 3 in LA and went back to Boston with a 3-2 lead in the series with the final games on the road.

Riley convinced them that they must win Game 6 because the Celtics would certainly not lose a Game 7 on their home court. However, that wasn't the motivation that the Lakers needed. They already knew that.

The Showtime Lakers of the '80's, with Magic Johnson, James Worthy, Kareem, Rambo, Cooper and more...were the "finesse" team of the NBA. The "Blue Collar" Celtics of Larry Legend, Kevin McHale, The Chief, Danny Ainge and the rest of those people I hate...were considered the working class team of the NBA.

The Celtics played bad-boy ball. The flagrant foul was invented thanks to Kevin McHales' clothesline "blocking" foul that nearly decapitated Kurt Rambis.

The Lakers had to play more physical with the Celtics. Riley wrote on the board before Game 6 "No Easy Baskets". The Celtics were stunned. The Lakers were pumped. It was close at the end, but the Lakers did something no other team in NBA history had ever done. They clinched a Championship on the floor of the Boston Celtics.

Riley wrote in his book, "There are two states of Being. Winning and misery". Riley looked very free of misery last night. The night he won his 5th NBA Championship as a head coach.

The Dallas Mavericks did indeed make another run after Riley's speech. The Miami Heat made 3 more.
Wednesday June 21, 2006 - 07:09pm (MDT)

Christianity

I am an atheist. I prefer to call myself a Born-Again Atheist. This is a story about Jesus.
I believe Jesus was the greatest con-man who ever walked the earth. If you know me as a friend, you know that this is high praise indeed. He created a religion that has lasted 2000 years and counting. He found his initial converts from Jews, who are now far outnumbered by Christians, even using the same god. How did he do it?

Jesus went to India for several years. The Bible is fuzzy on this part of his life. It mentions something about wandering the wilderness and confronting Satan. What actually happened was probably more something like this. He met magicians in India. Jesus learned tricks that would make the peasant mind of 0 BC think he was a god. Then He went back the Middle East.
The Biblical stuff on his childhood is probably all bullshit. He was most likely the son of a clever son-of-a-bitch. This was the greatest con the world has ever seen.

Who knows where he was born? Bethlehem was a tax collection center for the Romans. Not only did people have to pay these fucks, they had to travel for the pleasure. Bethlehem was a busy town during tax season. Who fucking knew who was where? A manger during tax season? Yeah, that could have happened.

Jesus brought an easy way to paradise. “Whoever believes in Me, shall not perish, but have eternal Life”. Cool stuff, if you could believe it. The magic tricks closed the deal. It was a great con.

The message Jesus brought settled down a hostile civilization. He told people that the way to live life is passively. Turn the other cheek. Jesus showed people that a “Love thy neighbor” type of life is the way humans should interact on earth. This only led to Western Civilization.
Picture the Middle Easterners of today. They are not Christians. They are not much different than people 2000 years ago. The last contribution to society from the mind of the Middle East, other than the suicide bomber, was algebra. And thanks a fucking lot for that one guys.
The message of Christianity resonated better in Europe. The Roman gods were replaced by Christianity. The pope still lives in Rome. Pretty amazing con.

Jesus’ crucifixion would make Houdini proud. This was his greatest trick. He appeared dead. When he reappeared before his disciples, the deal was sealed. He disappeared after that, but the play was in place. I hope he still got his kick from Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. He created a sweet revenue stream.

I absolutely don’t care that Jesus found a way to make money. The Sting is one of my favorite movies. Jesus is the king of the con men. He is also the king of the magicians. If Houdini had lived 2000 years ago, he too could have been the Savior.

The Disciples were able to interject a little of their own philosophy into the religion. John’s Revelation is my favorite chapter of the Bible. It describes Jesus returning to earth, riding a white horse and wielding a sword, to confront the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
John’s vision has become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Muhammad did to Christianity what Christianity did to Jewism. He tapped the base with a different message. Christianity taught that you should live life peacefully and be rewarded in heaven. Islam teaches that the only sure way into heaven is death for jihad. Wage war against the infidels.

John’s Revelation is Western Civilizations’ salvation. The peaceful life we all want to live is threatened. Muhammad created his religion 600 years after Christianity. He built on its weaknesses. Revelation is the only exception. It is the only time in the New Testament when it says, screw that “turn the other cheek” shit and let’s kick some ass. It gives moral authority to wage war.

One of my favorite quotes from Jesus is “Good trees bear good fruit”. Something that is fundamentally good will produce favorable results. Christianity has produced Western Civilization. Islam has produced misery and war.

Jesus Christ is one of my favorite people in history.

Saturday June 17, 2006 - 06:35am (MDT)

Flush Point

Flush Point - The point of a discussion when one of the participants diverges from the facts and logic of the disagreement and begins chanting bumper sticker slogans.

Usually associated with arguements about economics or history with socialists.

Monday June 12, 2006 - 07:39pm (MDT)

Rulers and Gatherers

Man is a hunter. He has survived because he can hunt. Man is a killer. A very good one.
Man has an abilitly unlike any other animal on earth. Man can think. Thinking can cause one to become the greatest killer on earth. Thinking can also cause one to build a civilization.
Our civilization still has remnants of our killer instinct. It must, because it takes many generations to evolve out instincts that are no longer necessary. We can speed the process by eliminating those that wish to kill.

Every Western country in the world wants the Rodney King solution. "Can't we all just g-g-g-getalong?" There are other people though, who just don't want to play nice.

We can either appease these people and hope they breed out over a few generations (long after all of us are gone) after becoming compelled to adopt Western standards or face poverty and famine.

Or we can fight the philosophy that has brought us to this stage and denounce the Religion of Death for what it is.

Man knows how to kill. Even if he is a fucking Islamic terrorist.

Saturday June 10, 2006 - 10:09am (MDT)

Appeasement

The anti-war proponents have a noble cause. However, they should realize that history has shown their actions only cause war.

Winston Churchill said "Chamberlin had a choice between war and dishonor. He chose dishonor and got war".

Churchill was referring to Neville Chamberlin's appeasment of Adolf Hitler. The Europeans wanted to avoid war at all costs. World War I was brutal. It took the lives of every fourth European. A generation of young men were slaughtered. It was truly hell on earth.
Hitler conquered Checkolsovakia without firing a shot. The Munich Agreement that Chamberlin signed allowed Hitler one more territory, without having to declare war.

Chamberlin angrily denounced Hitler's move as a violation of the Munich Agreement, but it didn't matter. German troops occupied the territory formerly known as Checkolsovakia.
The English and French found their balls after that, but it was too late. Six months later, World War II erupted.

The Europeans saw this coming years before it happened. In 1936 Hitler sent German troops into the Rhineland, an area of Germany that was demilitarized by the Versailles Treaty that ended World War I.

This was Hitler's biggest gamble and it paid off. The French and British did not respond. Germany sent in 3 brigades, with orders to retreat if the French crossed the border. The French Army had 100 Divisions, but it did not attack.

Hitler knew then that his enemies had no stomach for war and he could continue to build his war machine. By 1939 it was ready and Hitler launched World War II.

When I read quotes from Chamberlin, I think there are many people today I can picture who would say the same things. Chamberlin wanted "peace in our time". He could have had it if he attacked Hitler in 1936.


Saturday June 10, 2006 - 08:12am (MDT)

Facials

A guy told his Arab buddy that he gave his girlfriend a facial last night. The buddy asked him what a facial was. The guy said "She was blowing me and let me unload on her face". The Arab said "Holy Shit! I thought you only meant that she let you take the veil off!"

Friday June 9, 2006 - 06:36pm (MDT)

The Virtue of Selfishness

I am a selfish pig. I only think about myself. I want to do things that I like. Am I insane?

I am an atheist. I believe this life is it. We get only so much time, for whatever miraculous reason, and then it’s over. Why don’t I spend more time extending my life? The truest of selfish pigs would work on nothing but making his life longer, as time is the only commodity that really matters.

I am a pig because I want to have fun right now, even though it may reduce the only true commodity. The matter of quality vs. quantity applies. A pump that runs for 10 minutes and pushes water through a one inch tube will pump less water than one that pumps for 5 minutes with a 2” tube. Surprisingly, it will be more than double. It has something to do with pi and squared radius’s and shit, but it’s true. Quality is greater than Quantity.

I think Quality is defined as “Liking Something” (See: ‘Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance’ for a much more detailed discussion of “quality”).

A Quality Life, according to Aristotle, is happiness. This is the objective of life. Religion teaches us how to die. Reason teaches us how to live. Take your favorite.



Friday June 9, 2006 - 06:30pm (MDT)

Style

Q: What's black and tan and looks great on an Islamic terrorist?
A: A Doberman.


Saturday June 3, 2006 - 05:43am (MDT)

M.A.D.

The Cold War ended without a single shot fired by a Soviet or an American soldier against each other. Why? Both sides wanted to win. However, both sides also wanted to live. There were no Russian suicide bombers. The much ridiculed, yet highly successful policy of Mutually Assured Destruction worked. Both sides knew that if either side attacked, both would be destroyed. What will happen if Iran builds a nuclear arsenal?

The Soviets were smart enough to hide their real intentions, at least as much as possible. The Iranians boast of their intentions, whenever possible. The Soviets never publicly stated their goal of a worldwide socialist dictatorship. The Iranians are proud to be the people that bring about a worldwide Islamic caliphate.

We are not facing the same enemy of the past. We are facing a fanaticism, coupled with a desire to die. We are facing an enemy who believes that dying for Islam is the greatest accomplishment possible on earth. Will the concept of Mutually Assured Destruction work with this enemy?
If Iran builds a nuclear arsenal, then we will have indeed assured our mutual destruction.

Tuesday May 30, 2006 - 07:17pm (MDT)

Hunters and Gatherers

What are we? Really? The most hard core evolutionist would say we are replicators. I agree.
We are good at making copies of ourselves. We have survived millions of years because we make BETTER copies of ourselves. We improve in some way each generation.

What are we fundamentally? The Naked Ape (a great book) says we were fruit gathering herbivores, living in the jungle with other apes. Food became scarce and our ancestors were the ones bold enough to venture out of the jungle.

There was little vegetation in the desert outside the jungle. The naked ape needed to learn how to survive. He became a carnivore.

Actually, omnivore is a better term. Man was an herbivore that adapted to eating meat, because that was the only food available. Man had a problem though. The competitors of the time were well evolved killers. Man was a well evolved grape picker. Somehow Man had to defend himself against accomplished killers and beat those same competitors to the prize.

Man did not have great strength, sharp claws, sharp teeth or any other physical weapon to compete against the killers of the day. Evolution ruthlessly takes species out that do not have competitive advantages. If Man had not had his great advantage, the naked ape would have disappeared from the world.

However, the naked ape had a neo-cortex. This is the 3rd layer of the brain. Reptiles have the same inner brain as Man. Mammals have the same middle brain as Man. Only Man has a neo-cortex…The “New Brain”. This is the difference between humans and animals. The neo-cortex allows us to form concepts, and integrate them with other concepts. It also allows us to do this voluntarily, unlike the reptilian brain that responds only automatically to the 4 F’s of behavior: Fight, Flee, Feed and Find a Friend.

Conceptual thinking allowed the naked ape to build weapons that were stronger than the weapons of his competitors. He was able to defend himself and feed himself.

The naked ape became so successful, that he was able to do something no other animal before had been able to do. He created his own food. It started with agriculture; the naked ape never did get completely away from his herbivore roots. It expanded to livestock. The naked ape could not only hunt food, he could herd it and grow it.

The naked ape became so successful that females became valuable in ways other than producing babies. The male in every species (except maybe Black Widow spiders) provides for the tribe. Females became able to provide for the tribe with the evolution of agriculture. The females could nurture children AND work the land. They became the first Gatherers.

No female in any other species contributes more than the human female. Congratulations ladies. But it gets better. As Man (and yes, this includes females) evolved to his present stage, “hunting” became very specialized. We are so far removed from the physical day to day activities of the naked ape, that few of us “hunt” by actually killing something we intend to eat. We hunt by earning money to pay for food someone else killed for us.

This specialization of labor has allowed Man more time for other things. It’s difficult to discover electricity or build skyscrapers when one spends most of his waking hours hunting for food. We now “hunt” by providing goods and services to other “hunters”, who provide different good and services. Somewhere in that economic chain are people who provide food. However, the chain provides much more than food.

The naked ape has come a long way since venturing out of the jungle.

Sunday May 28, 2006 - 03:21am (MDT)

Who is Winning?

Many Americans don't even think we are at war. Score one for the enemy.

Most Americans think we will easily win. Point 2 for Allah.

A disturbing number of people think they can obstruct the war effort and not adversely impact the outcome. 3 zip.

The enemy is executing its game plan. Infiltrate infidel societies. Establish support bases. Recruit, quietly. Set up charities to generate funds. Gain political power. Recruit. Make political demands. Cause disruption. Take over.

It has worked in Sudan and Afghanistan. It is in progress in scores of countries such as Egypt, Bosnia, Indonesia and France. Really. France is under attack from Islamic fundamentalists and so are other parts of Europe.

Denmark is cowering in the wake of the Cartoon Wars. School children are not allowed to wear backpacks that have an emblem of the Danish flag, because it may offend Muslim children in the wake of the Danish cartoons.

American newspapers refused to show the cartoons, even though they gladly showed the riots which they caused. Violence is OK. Cartoons that mock the prophet of the Religion of Peace are not. Is this a Saturday Night Live skit?

Since when did the American media not have the balls to attack religion? Remember Piss Christ? Some hippy artist thought he could best spend his government grant on a piece of ... oh art, that consisted of a cross in a glass of urine. In my most stoned thoughts, I couldn't have imagined that this would be entertaining.

However, the media loved it and somehow, the Christians didn't issue death sentences to journalists.

The Islamics wouldn't have played it that way. All of the cartoonists are currently in hiding, each with a fatwa on his head. One cartoonist almost lost his daughter, who was stalked by an Islamic hit man because he couldn't find the cartoonist.

The American media sacrificed Freedom of Speech for fear. Draw your own conclusions. I see it like this. Some journalists gladly risk the career of a celebrity or politician because he is protected in doing so. However, when he is unprotected (for whatever reason) and then no longer shows the "bold" audacity of free speech, it makes me think he's a puss.

The mainstream media showed the pink ass of cowardice in the Cartoon Wars. Only the Christian Science Monitor, the New York Post and a few local publications printed the cartoons. By the way, no fatwa’s were issued. The enemy has not advanced as far in the United States as it has in other parts of the world.

The enemy is creeping its way into victory. I believe the West will win this war against Islam, but I strongly believe that it will cost more, the longer it takes the West to realize it is actually at war.

Every time a Western leader says that Islam is a Religion of Peace, we lose time. This is not a religion of peace. There are currently 30 active wars in the world. 28 of them involve Islamics on at least one side. Remember that the Shias and Sunnis consider each other heretics. They are allies of convenience now, but if they ever share control (see Iraq...post Sadaam) they will fight to the death for it.

Islam is the bane of the world. It has festered for centuries waiting for an opportunity. It sees one now. The world must either solve this problem or allow it to fester, like a sore that won't go away. However, the longer it festers, the stronger it becomes (see: nuclear weapons).

It's time to prick this boil. In every sense of the word.

Wednesday May 24, 2006 - 10:32pm (MDT)

Enlightenment

Q: How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. They just sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews.

Monday May 22, 2006 - 07:10pm (MDT)

Update on Phone Intrusion

I made an inaccurate prediction earlier. I thought that the phone monitoring leak from the formerly leak-proof CIA was another act of political sabotage, that would have great legs. I was wrong.

The American public is indeed smarter than I estimated, thank god. I read the tea leaves wrong and assumed that most Americans would be alerted about the government monitoring their private phone habits. Apparently most Americans are comfortable, knowing their government is watching for possible terrorist attacks, even at the expense of their own privacy.

Personally, I do have an aversion to this level of scrunity by a government to its subjects, but I agree that it is required under the current conditions. I am as paranoid as the most anti-US protester about the threat of government interference over the everyday life of an average American, but I cannot dispute the irrefutable results. There has not been an attack on US soil since September 11th, 2001.

The phone call monitoring will not have legs and will not become a political issue, despite the desire of the Democrats to criticize and derail any plan coming from the White House.

To my delight, most Americans seem to be coming to the conclusion that we are indeed at war. And we probably should do something about it.


Monday May 22, 2006 - 03:37am (MDT)

Heaven

A Muslim bomb-maker blew himself up and went to heaven, where he met George Washington. Washington said “You tried to destroy the country that I founded!” And proceeded to beat the living shit out of him.

Then he met Thomas Jefferson who said “People who support tyrants are the reason I wrote the Declaration of Independence!” And proceeded to beat the living shit out of him.

Next came James Madison, then John Adams. The Muslim was lying in a pool of his own blood, exhausted, defeated...when he saw an angel pass by. He said to the angel “This is not what I expected to find in heaven!” The angel said “Muhammad warned that if you die for jihad you will be greeted in heaven by 70 Virginians. What part of that didn’t you understand?”

Monday May 22, 2006 - 01:14am (MDT)

Man of the Year

In 1939, Time magazine awarded Adolph Hitler its Man of the Year. In 2006, I would like to nominate Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for Man of the Year.

He is the perfect leader for the world today. Most of the world wants so badly to hide its head in the sand over what’s happening. Ahmadinejad will not let anyone who listens to him forget. He is so recklessly defiant of diplomacy and tact, it’s almost comical, if it weren't so scary. If he would only shut up, the world would gladly ignore his ambition to build a nuclear arsenal.

As the President of Iran, he has declared on multiple occasions that Israel must be "wiped off the map". He has turned down multiple offers of alternatives to Iran enriching its own uranium. One proposal by the pathetically appeasing Europeans only last week actually offered a light-water nuclear facility...for free. Ahmadinejad responded "Do you think you are dealing with a 4 year old who would take walnuts and chocolate in exchange for gold?". No shit, he really said it. And by the way, I would really rather try to reason with a 4 year old.

Ahmadinejad is a member of a freaky cult. I know the name, but I can't pronounce it. Therefore, I am not going to try to spell it. Suffice it to say that Ayatollah Khomeini criminalized this Islamic sect. They believe in the Mahdi, the 12th Imam. He disappeared 800 years ago as a child. The Shia legend says that Allah hid him, to return in a time of crisis for Islam, to dispense Islamic Justice upon the world. Islamic justice means death to all infidels.

This particular religious sect is anxious for the return of the Mahdi. They are so anxious in fact, their tactics are to create chaos. This is why they were outlawed in Iran. Even Khomeini thought these guys were fucking nuts. They are now in charge and they are trying their goddamndist to get nuclear weapons. Are you cozy with that thought?

Ahmadinejad sent a letter to President Bush last week. It was not however, a typical diplomatic correspondence. It was written in flowery, Kuranic verses. It was 47 fucking pages long. It said nothing of substance. Condoleezza Rice dismissed it as "offering nothing new".

The Arab world doesn't see it that way. Mohammad would always offer his enemy a last chance to convert to Islam before he attacked. Some of the verses in Ahmadinejad's letter were taken directly from the Koran, specifically, the warnings to convert.

This was his warning. Osama allegedly offered a similar one before September 11th, but I don't know for certain if that isn't an Urban Legend. Regardless, the letter from the bearded boy is real. He is calling out the United States of America.

Hitler talked a big game, but never directly called out the powers of the day. The enemies who threatened Hitler the most were also the ones who appeased him. Hitler was able to conceal the direct threat his true enemies faced from him. He actually signed a non-aggression pact with Stalin, with the complete intention of attacking him anyways.

Ahmadinejad is calling out the United States. His credibility in the Arab world depends on making the US cower before his threats. When Iran ignites its first nuclear test successfully, World War III will have officially begun.

Perhaps if the European powers had heeded the reasons why Hitler was Man of the Year, and started the inevitable war on their own terms, the carnage would not have been so great. Too bad the Europeans waited until September.

Saturday May 20, 2006 - 08:32pm (MDT)

Perspective

A 13 year old boy comes home from school and tells his mom "I just had sex with my English teacher today!" The mom says, "I don't even know what to tell you. Let your father deal with this."

The dad comes home and the kid tells him what happened. He says "Son, you're a man now. Let's go celebrate. I'm going to buy you a new mountain bike and we're going to ride into the store for some ice cream!"

The kid says "The ice cream sounds good. I don't know about the bike ride though. My ass is really sore."

Friday May 19, 2006 - 05:34pm (MDT)

A Tribute to Mr. Smith

Hands like glue
whatcha gonna do?
Number 82 coming right at you".
- Jimmy Smith

This was Jimmy's part in an ill-advised rap song the Jacksonville Jaguars recorded on their playoff run in their most successful season ever, 1999.

The Jags went 14-2 in the regular season and had a first round bye in the playoffs. They destroyed Miami 62-7 in the second round, ending the careers of both Dan Marino and Jimmy Johnson on a sour note.

The Jags went into the AFC Championship game facing the only team that beat them all year, the Tennessee Titans, twice. Retribution seemed near. The Jags had a 3 point lead at the half, that should have been more if it weren't for a fumbled punt return by Reggie Barlow and a bullshit pass interference call against Carnell Lake that took away an interception.
Regardless, the Jags' Super Bowl dreams were 30 football minutes away.

However, destiny took a turn at the half. No one from that team is yet talking about what happened in the locker room (the rumor mill says that a malcontent 3rd string defensive lineman started a fight), but SOMETHING happened because the Jags' laid an egg in the 2nd half.

The Jaguars failed to score again and the Titans went on the Super Bowl. The Titties lost to the Rams, but that is of little solice. 1999 was the Jags' year and the team came up short.
It took 6 seasons before the Jags' returned to the playoffs, only to get uncerimoniously dismissed by the Patriots last January, 28-3.

However, to a Jags' fan, there is hope on the horizon. Making the playoffs was the goal last season and it was achieved. This is a team on the rise. This team is young, has a great defense, a solid offensive line, a quarterback who could be a star, a stable of young running backs behind the great Fred Taylor and a mix of young receivers who will now be asked to pick up the slack, left by the retirement of the great Jimmy Smith.

Jimmy is the last of the original 1995 Jags to leave the team. Jimmy was signed as a street free agent in '95 because the team that drafted him, the Dallas Cowboys, cut him. Jimmy broke a bone in training camp his rookie year with the Cowboys, putting him on IR for the season. He needed an appendectomy before his second season, ending it before it started. Jimmy does, however, own a Super Bowl ring for being on the Cowboys' roster for their win in Super Bowl XXXI.

Jimmy Smith's goal in 1995 was to make an NFL roster and stay on it for 3 or 4 seasons. He wanted a few years of 6 digit paydays and he would be happy.

Jimmy turned into the Jags' best receiver of all time.

Jimmy has been to 5 Pro Bowls and has led the Jaguars in receiving yards and receptions for 10 straight years. He holds every receiving record for this young franchise and was instrumental in the teams' early success, making the playoffs from 1996-1999.

Jimmy turned down $3.5 million dollars this year because he didn't feel the burning desire anymore. When Jimmy signed with the Jags in '95, he would have been delighted to make $2 million dollars in 4 years. He left at the top of his game.

Jimmy Smith will most likely not make the Hall of Fame. That place is reserved for tremendous stats or memorable Super Bowl moments. Jimmy had great stats (but maybe not tremendous) and no Super Bowl moments.

Jimmy leaves a team that is heading to the Super Bowl either this year or next, knowing that he can't help them anymore. Jimmy leaves nothing but good thoughts with this Jags' fan.

Jimmy Smith is a performer who this sports fan will never forget. Congratulations on an excellent career, Mr. Smith.



Wednesday May 17, 2006 - 06:56pm (MDT)

May Day

Holy Shit! The political atmosphere in this country is about to reach condition meltdown.
The Democrats have been seething hatred for months. A pundit recently described Hillary as the candidate of Hate. Some Democrats are already relishing a lame duck presidency and a 2 year term of investigations and impeachment hearings.

A lame duck term for George Bush that is riddled with investigations and hearings is not in the best intersest of this country.

We are at war. The enemy may be a pathetic pussy, who fires overpowering (to himself) weapons indiscriminatly into the sky or blows himself up in the middle of crowded restaurants, but he is determined to win. He will not win, however, he will continue fightimg until he is decisevly defeated.

Iraq was defeated by Iran in 1988, but the UN brokered a peace treaty that even the Ayatollah Khomeini called a poison pill to swallow. However, both sides eagerly proclaimed Victory!

Afghanastan and Iraq are only a start. A good start, but only the beginning. The military success of the US in these countries has not gone unnoticed in the land of our enemies.

Libya used to be a trouble maker. Reagan almost solved the problem by dropping several precision guided bombs on palaces suspected to be occupied by Muhamar Khadafi. Khadafi survived, but several close friends and relatives did not.

Khadafi franticly called a meeting between Libya and Arab countries who had diplomatic relations with the United States after September 11th, to insure they would pass along the message that Libya had nothing to do with the attack. Libya was scared shitless. Reagan tried to kill Khadafi for blowing up a jet over the Atlantic. What would Bush do for highjacking 4 American airplanes and killing 3000 Americans?

Force is all these people understand. Despite all the hysterics regarding the war, there has not been an attack on American soil since September 11th, 2001. The battle has been taken to the enemy. Iran must be next, or we will have surrendered the battle before the real enemy ever actually took the field.

Playing revenge politics while at war is at least seditious, if not treasonous. The Dems need to chill.

Wednesday May 17, 2006 - 01:11am (MDT)

The Plan

A guy walks into a bar and sees Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld sitting at a table in the corner. He walks over and says, "Hey, I'm surprised to see you guys here. Can I ask what you're doing"?
Bush says, "We're planning World War III". The guy asks if can hear the plan. Cheney says, "We can't give you the details, but generally speaking we intend to kill 170 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits".

The guy is stunned and asks why they would want to kill a blonde with big tits. Rumsfeld says, "Do you see Mr. President? It's like we were telling you. Nobody gives a shit about 170 million dead Muslims".

Saturday May 13, 2006 - 11:02am (MDT)

Attraction

This may be the only topic I like more than war. I had a revelation. How does a man behave to attract a woman? We all know that the gentlemanly approach does not work. A man who is too attentive to a woman will always lose her.

Women like bad boys, but they never admit it. They say they want a man who is understanding and sensitive. What they mean is they want a bad boy who is understanding and sensitive.

Women do not want to be TOLD that a man loves her. Women are correct in reading this as an insincere attempt to advance the relationship. Men never tell a woman who he actually loves, that he loves her. Conversely, men frequently tell women they wish to copulate with that they are in love. Women are too smart for this. Usually.

(Note for the marital stability of the author: This topic refers to male/female relationships of people who recently met. People who have been married 20 years can say "I love you" and actually mean it).

A woman wants to be shown that a man loves her. How does he do this? Buy her flowers and take her to nice restaurants? Absolutely wrong. This is an extension of saying "I love you". It's money instead of words, but it's the same message. Women do not like this.

A man who treats a woman like a friend causes attraction. A man who recognizes a woman for her great personality causes attraction. Think about that. When a woman doesn't want to see a guy anymore she says "let's just be friends". When a guy tries to sell his buddy on an unattractive woman he says "she has a great personality".

It's the ying and yang of relationships. Women want to be "friends" with the guys who don't attract her. But she wants to be "friendly" with the guy who treats her like one of the guys. Men say a woman has a great personality when he means that she has no other attractive features. A man who can talk to a woman endlessly because her personality is so in synch with his own will melt her heart in little time.

Our rejections of each other point toward our attractions.


Thursday May 11, 2006 - 08:53pm (MDT)

Phone Call Monitoring

President Bush is about to face the worst storm of his presidency. The Abu Gharab and Guantanamo distortions were nothing. The NSA wiretapping frenzy does not compare. Even Democrats know that the NSA listend in on conversations of known or suspected terrorists, yet created hysterics regardless.

The success of those grandstanding moments in the political polls is not only noticed, but lusted after by the Democrat party. They will be completly unable to avoid politicizing this issue. It isn't in their nature.

The American public can tolerate some degree of college pranks on Islamic terrorists. It can tolerate the compromise of privacy for the sake of security, if it is understood that there is a standard of reasonable cause. However, it can not tolerate knowing their personal phone calls are being monitored.

I don't know why Bush did this. I understand that security improvements had to be implemented quickly and thouroughly. I'm going to side with GW that this program has provided benefits to the security of this country. However, it doesn't matter what I think. The Left is going to take this one to the house.


Thursday May 11, 2006 - 07:14pm (MDT)

Options in Iran

Despite what many people either believe, or want to believe, not everything that happens in the world is caused by the United States or its President.

Ahmadinejad is not a CIA plant, pretending to bluster about Iran's right to nuclear weapons. Ahmadinejad is an Islamic freak, blustering about Iran's right to nuclear weapons.
Our man in Iran would be saying the same things with a Democrat Congress and John Kerry in the White House.

I would strongly support President Kerry's decision to launch a premptive attack against Iran, before it has the capability to build nuclear weapons. It is the least-worst of several bad options.
What are the options? We can wait. We can encourage an insurgency to overthrow the regime. We can assassinate Ahmadinejad. Israel can launch the attack. We can sanction trade. We can freeze assets. We can restrict travel of key diplomats. We can hope that they aren't really able to do it. Let's check the consequences.

We can wait. The appeasment option. It didn't work well in 1938. Hitler appeared very threatening, but the powers who could have defeated him looked away. Ahmadinejad probably means what he says when he declared that Israel should be wiped off the map. Personally, I'm taking him seriously on that threat. If we wait until he is actually able to do it (remember, Israel is not a very large country), then I think history would show this to be a poor choice of the available options.

We can encourage an insurgency to overthrow the regime. This is by far the most preferable option. And it is possible. The son of the former Shah of Iran (who was very friendly to the United States) has said that he has been working on a coup. He requested that the United States wait until after this summer to allow his plan a chance. The Shah's son has alligned himself with several resistance groups inside Iran and has arranged networks to provide them with material support. His plan is to create demonstrations on huge scales, shutting down all economic activity. When the mullahs' forces enter to restore order, the civil war will begin. Allah bless you, son of the Shah.

We can assassinate Ahmadinejad. We should do this regardless. However, it won't help. He is just another member of a crazy cult (that Ayatollah Khomeini criminalized) . When he goes, there will be another. We may not be so fortunate to get one who speaks so openly of his intentions, but the intentions will be the same: Create chaos to open the way for the 12th Imam. When the 12th Imam comes, Islamic justice will be served upon the world.

Israel can launch the attack. Maybe. This isn't Osirak. When Israel took out the Iraqi nuclear facility in the 1980's, it was one plant above ground. Iran has multiple facilities and they are all underground. Plus Iran is further from Israel, restricting the range of its bombers. Israel could possibly do it, but not without help from the United States. If we are going to help, then why the hell not actually HELP. Israel can't do it alone. We either attack Iran or forget about anyone else attacking Iran.

We can sanction trade. Out of the question. Nothing will bring the world closer to World War III than cutting off trade with Iran. This is not in the United States' best interest. Iran supplies too much of the world oil supply, which is already too little. This option is not possible.

We can freeze assets. This has already begun. At least, from the Iranian side. They have been pulling in funds from foreign banks and buying gold. The mullahs know this one is coming and they are already ready for it.

We can restrict travel on key diplomats. This is a legitmate option. However, I have no idea what good it will do. The Iranian's don't exactly play by the rules and I don't think that a cancelled visa will keep meetings between Tehran and Damascus from occuring. I actually like to know that Iran sent diplomats to meet with representatives from Hamas, Hezbollah and Islamic Jihad. It helps me to remember which side our enemy is on.

We can hope that they really aren't able to do it. This one was good in the '70's. Nuclear technology is now over 60 years old. There are a lot of unemployed Russian scientists looking for work. Iran will be able to build nuclear weapons.

This brings us to the original option. A premptive strike. What is the most likely scenario any of these other options has brought us? The destruction of Israel. A civil war. A meaningless assassination. A futile attack. An economic nightmare. A freeze on assets and a restriction on travel.

Nothing has addressed the problem. The Islamic fascists in charge of Iran must be forcibly removed from office. This will not only eradicate the enemy who began the Islamic War in 1979, but it will send a strong message to any other country interested in hosting future enemies.
An airstrike on Iran will accomplish many things. It will erode Iran's ability to build nuclear weapons. It will destroy its navy, before Iran's navy is able to blocade the straights. It will neutralize the Revolutionary Guard, giving the resistance a fighting chance in a civil war.
An airstrike on Iran is the only present option that shows any possibility for a favorable outcome.



Tuesday May 9, 2006 - 09:54pm (MDT)